Big: A Real Man by Snow Jenika

Author:Snow, Jenika
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Jenika Snow
Published: 2020-01-05T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter Seven

Landry

I’d been at Big’s house for the past five hours, my earbuds in, rock music playing into my ears. And although I kept busy, forced myself not to seek him out, not to look at him, I felt him watching me.

His gaze had been like fingers running over my naked body, and I reacted instantly. My skin felt tight, flushed. My pulse had been racing the entire time, and beads of sweat broke out along my temple. And my body’s reaction had nothing to do with me moving around and keeping active by cleaning.

It had everything to do with how I knew it wasn’t just my imagination that maybe he felt some kind of arousal for me. That or he just people-watched like crazy. But I refused to believe it was the latter. I refused to believe that, because I wanted him too much, had wanted him for so long it had gotten into the possibly obsessive side of things.

No, not obsessive. Love.

But I was okay with feeling these emotions for someone else, because it had this sensation of being alive, constantly moving within me, this hopefulness, this curiosity and wonder, anxiety and need.

I gathered up all my supplies and set my bags on the granite island in the kitchen. I looked around at the work I’d done, pretty proud of myself. The scent of lemon and lavender filled my head, essential oils I used for cleaning. I never used the artificial, chemical crap they sold in stores.

I tried to act like I was completely collected, which I’d been doing ever since I first came to Big’s house. But being around his things and his home, knowing he was just right upstairs, that he was watching me, made me even more aware of my body’s reaction to him.

I didn’t know how long I planned on keeping my mouth shut about how I felt, but I knew it wasn’t good for me. So, I’d come to the conclusion that after I was finished with this job, I would just be honest. I would tell him everything, let him know that for the past five years, I’d been pining after him, wanting things I knew probably could never happen. I’d even admit I’d fallen in love with him, which he’d probably laugh at, think I was insane, but I had to tell him these things.

I had to get them off my chest and be honest, not just with him but with myself too.

I owed that to myself, to my sanity.

I headed toward the front door and stopped, looking over my shoulder and glancing up to where the loft was, where I knew Big was in his study. But he wasn’t in his office. He stood by the banister, his large hands wrapped around the wood, his focus trained right on me.

My heart was racing double time, and I licked my lips nervously. “I’m done for the day, unless there’s anything else you need me to do?” There was heavy silence between

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